She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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