Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is Oprah even human
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
