:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You are a genius and a whore.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
