It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
