O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
