mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
