I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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