lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
