sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
