Plan B is the new Plan A
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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