you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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