If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dick very happy bro
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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