He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
