I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
