dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
