drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize