I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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