My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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