Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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