i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
