I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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