did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize