Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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