I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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