i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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