Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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