she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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