I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
