jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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