K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
