There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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