Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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