This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
