It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize