i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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