your parents love me but you hate me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
