Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
