you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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