I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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