And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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