I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
