My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
