I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
