for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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