fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
