If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm bleeding and have questions
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
