The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
tell me about the fingering
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