Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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