I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
