I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
