On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
