i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize