Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
