after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
birth control should be required to get into college
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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